Movement, Mindfulness and Feeling Feelings

As a highly sensitive woman, if you find yourself hiding from painful feelings, listen in on this episode of the Awaken Your Wise Woman podcast. as host Elizabeth Cush and counselor Alyssa Scarano talk about integrating the body and mind to manage your emotions.

“If we're numbing one emotion or suppressing one emotion, or bearing down, or whatever reaction we're having to one emotion, it starts to affect all the other ones.” 
 — Alyssa Scarano

Being highly sensitive means feeling deeply. Too often, though, we minimize or even bury some of those feelings. Maybe they’re painful. Maybe we believe the message that we’re overreacting. Maybe we think we’re weak. Whatever the reason, we do ourselves a disservice by not feeling our whole range of feelings. In this episode of Awaken Your Wise Woman, host Elizabeth “Biz” Cush, LCPC, a licensed professional therapist, founder of Progression Counseling in Maryland and Delaware, and soul support for highly sensitive women, welcomes Alyssa Scarano, LPC, NCC, founder and clinical director of The Collective Therapy & Wellness. They talk about a holistic approach to mental health that integrates therapy with wellness practices like yoga and mindfulness to help manage emotions and strengthen compassion for your sensitive self.

You can find the full show notes and resources here- https://www.elizabethcushcoaching.com/awaken-your-wise-woman-podcast 

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Right. Like everybody has their stuff. Like maybe parents were in survival mode and feeling emotions when you're in survival mode, you don't have time to, or it can cause you to fall apart when you can't. Right. So I think as as I've gotten older and my own healing work, which is important in order to be able to do this work, it does require a certain amount of comfort with all of this, the messiness or pain that or even discomfort that accompanies some of the emotions that make up the human experience.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:32

But in my own healing work and learning and being able to name and identify, like, oh, that's what anger is. You know, oh, that's what mourning feels like, or whatever the emotion is. Learning about it and that there was a reason for it. There was, it was my body signaling something, it was my heart needing something, it was valid and tied to my experience.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Welcome to the Awaken Your Wise Woman podcast, where we hold your sensitive nature front and center. Because your sensitivity is a gift that needs polishing up every day. In our world of high stimulation, there's rarely a chance to sit back, listen, and go deep. Join me as I hang out with highly sensitive women and the healers who support them as we dive deep into all things sensitive. Healing from childhood wounds, cool alternative methods for growth, and all the ways your sensitivities make you a powerful force to be reckoned with. So let's take a drive or a walk. Or let's get comfy on the couch with a soft blanket and beverage. You're in for some whole-hearted, soulful conversations with truly amazing women like you. Let's grow a strong community of awakened, sensitive women together. Hey, and welcome back to the Awaken Your Wise Woman podcast. I'm your host, Elizabeth Cush, and I'm recording from a little bit different space here today. So if you are watching the video on YouTube, you will notice that my background's a little different, but I wasn't able to record in my office today. But hey, this works, right? I had a great conversation with Elizabeth Scarano, and I really am excited to share that with you. But before we jump into that, I just wanted to remind all of you that the Circle of Sacred Sensitivity membership is open for registration. You can also drop in to our monthly circles, which happen typically on the third Thursday of the month. Although due to scheduling, sometimes that shifts. But if you want to know more about that, go to my website, elisabethcush.com, and you will find all the information there under the Circle of Sacred Sensitivity tab. And I would love to have you there. Also, if you are a listener and you really resonate with an episode or the podcast in general, I would love for you to share it. The more women who are listening and sharing, the more visibility the podcast gets and the more our sensitive energy gets put out into the world. And I think that's really, really important right now. So I would really appreciate it if you shared. And I appreciate you listening. So my guest this week is Alyssa Scarano, and she is a therapist who really advocates for whole body wellness, not just our mental health, but our physical well-being and her message of really honoring our feelings as our body signals the feelings that we're feeling in ourselves, that it's really when we can tune in and listen with kindness and compassion and open-heartedness that a lot of healing can happen. So let's jump into this amazing conversation. And I look forward to hearing your thoughts about it. Hi, Alyssa, and welcome to the Awaken Your Wise Woman podcast.

SPEAKER_03 4:37

Thank you so much for having me here, Biz. I'm so excited to be a part of the conversation.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

Oh, I'm so excited to have you here. And I know scheduling was a little bumpy, but I'm glad that it all worked out and that we're here and that we get to have this lovely conversation. So if you wouldn't mind sharing with the listeners a little bit about yourself and the work that you do, that would be great.

SPEAKER_03 5:03

Absolutely. Yeah, so I am a licensed professional counselor. I have multiple state licenses in a few different states, mainly because I am I come from a military family. My husband was in the army. And so we we moved out, uh moved around a whole bunch. And so while I was there, I got my license in every state. And so I've gotten that to work well for me. I've been able to maintain some relationships with colleagues out there and friends and stuff like that and clients as well. And so why not? Right. And um my specialty is with relationships. And really, we're always working with relationships or family of origin, even when I'm working with somebody on an individual basis, right? Because at the very core of things, we have a relationship with ourselves that is central to how we relate to others. And so it's my specialty and I love it. And it really started with my postgraduate experience. I was a functional family therapist, particularly with families that were struggling and at risk of separation through the foster care system or affiliated with CPS. And it was challenging work and it was a lot, but it also really framed my point of reference with the work that I do now. It was just really great learning experience. It immersed me within relationship dynamics as a whole and how we're always influencing each other, and particularly from very early experiences and relationships. And so it's informed a lot of what I do. And so now I've been lucky enough to take that learning and combine it with my love of wellness and yoga and using that, you know, all of those different wellness tools as a way of improving the relationship you have with yourself so that you can or that clients can relate to others in a more compassionate way, right? Because if we are relating to ourselves from a place of self-compassion or acceptance or even belonging and empathy and understanding and curiosity, we can then extend that outward. We might have more patience, right? We might have more confidence in asserting ourselves. And so through my practice, we combine therapy with wellness, making treatment more of a holistic mind-body approach. So our clients have access to therapy to do some of the deeper healing work and family of origin and healing from trauma, while also having the support in really structured one-to-one settings where you can gain new skills and have practice from knowledgeable experts within their realms of wellness. So right now we have a self-love coach and she is a licensed clinical social worker. She's created a whole cognitive behavioral therapy for informed self-love program. And we have a registered yoga teacher and mind, certified mindfulness meditation teacher with loads of years of years of experience leading individual and group meditations. So his services are included as well. And we have a personal trainer and nutritionist that we're bringing on, and he has a whole program that is geared toward empowering individuals to make small actionable changes that match to where they're at in their lives so that they can feel more empowered over their decisions and their body and how it relates to mood. And we're looking into and have someone else that'll be joining the team that is going to be our yoga person. And so I'm very excited about that edition because that was always part of the vision.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:05

So yeah, that's that's what we do, and we service states of uh Florida. I have to do it in order, so we don't forget, but it's Florida, Missouri, New Jersey, New York, and Texas.

SPEAKER_00 9:19

Nice, nice. Sounds like all the places you've traveled through with the military. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's that's truly, I feel like should be the future of mental health. Just that full body wellness, you know, your mind, your body, your spirit need to be aligned and healthy for a better word, you know, looking for a better word. But yeah, for us to be truly centered and able to be in relationship with others.

SPEAKER_04 9:53

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

Yeah. And with ourselves. And just what you were sharing about having that kind, caring, compassionate relationship with ourselves really just makes it so much easier to enter the world that way and be in relationship with others. You are singing my song right there, because I am a huge advocate of a self-compassion practice and really self-love, like like being able to meet yourself where you are with care, compassion, curiosity, kindness. Yeah, yeah. It can shift a lot. I mean, I know I don't know about you, but I know sort of go-to responses to myself if I was struggling was pretty unkind. Even even today, before we met, and I'm trying to, you know, I'm recording from a different place and just feeling a little less confident, I guess. Having that voice that like is do you really know what you're doing? Are you sure you're, you know, and something had happened right prior to us talking, and having to like just sit with that, oh yeah, gosh, there's that voice that still sometimes shows up that wants to be pointing out all the ways I might not be perfect.

SPEAKER_03 11:17

Yeah. I don't for me, I mean, it's funny, part of why I do I'm doing this work of being on podcasts or guest speaking or even giving lectures or webinars is like I'm not the most comfortable person when it comes to speaking or public speaking. It's not a matter of like, I I, you know, really have a lot of negative views or anything like that. It's more a matter of like, it makes me anxious, right? It's the same thing. And so before we hopped on, I was like, oh God, here we go. Okay. I had the feeling, I noticed it and I was like, all right, that's enough. And I put it, I let it go. And now here I am with you. And it's a conversation and talking about things that matter and things that I fully believe in. And so that's what I'm using today, right now, to ground me and realize that you know what, like we're here and let's enjoy the connection, you know.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Well, and I find that that is what is amazing about podcasting, is I get to connect with amazing women all around the world, which is fantastic. And have these, whether it's a brief moment or a longer-lasting relationship outside of the podcast, it's really been a lovely thing. And so for listeners who are highly sensitive, they may be curious whether you consider yourself a highly sensitive person. And if you don't, how would you see your work supporting them in a way that yeah, fits their needs?

SPEAKER_03 12:50

I'm definitely a highly sensitive person, right? And as a therapist, it's very interesting to walk that line, right? Because I think the image of a therapist is neutral, right? At all. And yes, we are, right? That is the practice, but also there's a walking of the line in terms of, you know, you also want to validate where it's necessary and healthy to do so. And you also want to be a human in this space, sharing space with another human. And, you know, sometimes that involves having healthy reactions, right? Especially when clients are disconnected from their own emotions. So I am a highly sensitive person, right? I think we really, a lot of us are, but potentially there are maybe hindrances to accessing the emotional entunment that is within all of us, whether that's a learned emotional suppression or it's protective, right? In the sense of I can't go there, right? Or there's trauma roots and things like that. But yes, I am. And in terms of how I use that to connect with my clients, is truly I'm a relational therapist, right? And what that looks like, I mean, it looks like a lot of different things, but what it looks like is being in the dark cave of someone's experience with them, right? So it's not like I'm on the outside of the cave looking in. I'm sitting next to you. I'm feeling the wet from the ground beneath us as we sit. I'm feeling the hard, cold bumpiness of the cave wall. I'm hearing the drips of maybe water that's dripping down from the ceiling or the top, right? And I'm in that experience with you, feeling it myself. Sometimes even picking up on little nuances that are not being spoken to or that are not being accessed at the time, right? And I'm picking up on that and I'm noticing it, maybe using it as a way to kind of connect with the to connect with the client. And it's a little bit of an acrobatics or like walking the line, right? How much of this internal space or experience belongs to me and my stuff because I'm a human, right? And how much of it is my clients that I'm picking up on. And even if it is mine, because I've had my own loads of experiences in life, is it still useful? Right? Yeah. Is it still something that's going to carry us forward in our work together, align us, connect us? Is it, you know, so it's a little bit of like being in the cave, stepping out of the cave, being in the cave, stepping out of the cave, back and forth, and making sure that I'm helping the client look up and see the light at the same time. You know, what's on the other side? I mean, that's the imagery behind it, but I would say that it's a strength for anyone who is identifying with being emotionally attuned because it is the thing that can connect you to another human, whether that's your child, your partner, friend, colleague, someone you work with.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

Yeah, no, I agree. I think that it can be, I know it can be a challenge in terms of potentially getting not necessarily as a therapist, but for a highly sensitive person getting overwhelmed by someone else's emotional state and feeling perhaps because of how they were raised, that maybe they have to fix it or help it or make it better, or just feeling it, you know. But I liked your description of the the cave and the drips and the coldness and the and how lonely that can feel for a client, but for you as a therapist to be able to be with them in that experience while not necessarily absorbing the experience yourself, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 16:50

Right, right. Allowing myself to feel it, right? I think that's what a lot of us therapists are really aiming for is helping clients connect with their emotions, even if they're uncomfortable or scary or overwhelming. And I can only build that tolerance, help a client build that tolerance if I'm able to hold space in a non-reactive way. And so that requires a certain amount of being comfortable with all of the spectrums of emotions, right? Except and I'm living that in my own life, right? Yes, yes. So yeah, yeah. It's really such, I call it it's honorable work, right? It's a privilege to be invited into someone's world in that really deep, intimate way. And I don't ever want to forget that, right? How personal and meaningful this work is.

SPEAKER_00 17:47

Absolutely. No, I agree. It's funny. I always often feel so yes, honored, privileged, blessed to be able to be with the clients that I work with and meet them where they are, but to be kind of I don't know if a guide is the right word, but a partner in their journey as they move forward. Yeah. Yeah. Because many of us as highly sensitive people were told we were too feeling or too sensitive or too reactive, too, too, too, too, too. What has helped you sort of be with whatever the feelings are in your life, in your work, to tolerate both being a deeply feeling person, but also feeling those feelings.

SPEAKER_03 18:40

Yeah. Well, it was a journey.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

Right.

SPEAKER_03 18:44

I was definitely told I was too sensitive or making a big deal of things that didn't need to be a big deal. Right. I remember being a kid and like I was, I just came home from school. I have no idea how old I was, but I came home from school and I was like, I had such a bad day. Or even thinking like it's gonna be a bad day. I was young and felt that way, right? And um, I was told, like, oh, you don't know a bad day, right? So this is like kind of I learned to kind of minimize. And you know what? Like the reasons, right? Like everybody has their stuff. Like maybe parents were in survival mode and feeling emotions when you're in survival mode, you don't have time to, or it can cause you to fall apart when you can't, right? So I think as as I've gotten older and my own healing work, which is important, right? In order to be able to do this work, you have it has it does require a certain amount of comfort with all of this, the the messiness or pain that or even discomfort that accompany some of the emotions that make up the human experience.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:47

But in my own healing work and learning and being able to name and identify, like, oh, that's what anger is. You know, oh, that's what mourning feels like, or whatever the emotion is, learning about it and that there was a reason for it. There was, it was my body signaling something, it was my heart needing something, it was valid and tied to my experience. You know, that was something that kind of got me even more so curious or accepting. And then yoga, my own yoga practice. I mean, yoga is a great metaphor, whether you practice or not, but it's a really great metaphor, even exercise in general. Running is a big one, right? It was like when you're in these physically uncomfortable positions that exercise is calling you to be in, that running is calling you to be in, right? It's human nature to be like, this is not okay. Get me out of it. I needed to stop, right? And that can look like a lot of things. It could like focusing on sometimes even how uncomfortable it is, and that turning into negative self-talk. It could turn into thinking about what it has to happen three hours from now, right? Or next week or next month, or it could turn into thinking about something that's already over with, but we're holding on to it because we're not in the moment, right? All of that is a way to not have to be present with what it is that we're experiencing in the moment and breathing through it, right? When you're uh if you're a runner and you're running, I am not a runner. A lot of people know that about me. I'm not a runner. I always make a joke that if you ever see me running, it's because I'm running from I'm running from something.

SPEAKER_00 21:37

I, you know, something serious, right?

SPEAKER_03 21:39

Yeah, yeah. You gotta run with me.

unknown 21:42

Right.

SPEAKER_03 21:44

But running is is uh a good one, at least for me. But it when you're running, it can start to be physically sometimes painful if you're running for a long time, right? And you can react to that with thoughts that take you out, you could distress. Yourself with something that you have to do or something that already happened, or you could get stuck in the physical discomfort, right? Instead of looking at like, oh, maybe I need to stop or slow down or take a sip of water. But in order to keep on the path, it is a matter of focusing on your breath, right? Focusing on your inner vision. Right in yoga, we call that drishti, right? Focus on uh one spot, right? Whether it's in the room or where you're headed or focusing on one spot in your mind, on one thought, one grounding principle. And so, yeah, I mean, in order to kind of build that tolerance for that discomfort and also respect where you're at, it requires being present with the experience and then realizing that, like, okay, it's past. You know, no emotion is fixed, it's meant to be transient. And we run into problems or problematic things is when we do get stuck in it.

SPEAKER_00 23:09

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, and I think many people, you know, if you're haven't practiced really being with your emotions, often it can feel like whatever you're feeling right in that moment will never end, right? Or that you will be in this forever. And I know when you're if you are highly anxious or deeply depressed, like some of those moods do stick longer. But moods do shift and change, even a little bit, right? Like even moment by moment, I can feel maybe a little bit better or less anxious or less depressed or whatever. But if we're not paying attention to that and really focusing on like this feels horrible, I want it to go away now, it's harder to notice the shifts.

SPEAKER_03 23:59

Right. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:02

And even if, I mean, and there's a whole myraid of reasons why emotions sometimes get stuck, right? And then we're you can be, we can be clinically receive that diagnosis of depression, right?

SPEAKER_00 24:14

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 24:15

And the a whole myra, like it could be trauma, right? It could be recreated trauma because the original trauma is not resolved, right? It could be misplaced emotions, right? Depression is what classified as internalized anger. Well, perhaps that anger belongs somewhere else, you know, towards something that happened that was unfair, unjust, but I feel unjust in having myself, right?

SPEAKER_01 24:44

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:46

I I can't allow myself to have that anger towards that thing or that person, right? So I have to be the one to take the blame, right? So there's a I think a lot of reasons what could cause us to have emotions that are stuck. But ultimately it's a signal that something isn't quite moving.

SPEAKER_00 25:05

Needs to move through.

SPEAKER_03 25:06

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:07

And maybe sometimes we need a little bit of help, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:10

So yeah. Oh, absolutely. Well, and what you said about movement yoga, whether it's yoga, exercise, but body movement can be so incredibly powerful, helping emotions move through that maybe we aren't even realizing that it's happening, right? That this these transitions or transmutations or whatever, that we are able to move through some of the emotional content without having to necessarily talk about it. Yeah. That always blows my mind. I mean, just in my own healing, like what has moved through, through, yeah, through movement, through walking, through just being in nature and awareness. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:55

I remember like earlier on, you know, I what brought me to yoga was uh there was a studio that opened up like around the block from my house. And I had never done yoga before. I really didn't know much about it, but I was like, oh, that's cool. And I kept kind of seeing it on my way home from work. I was like, I'm gonna go. And um, I went, and I I don't want to say that this is an experience that is completely gone because you know every yoga class is different, no matter how long you've been practicing, right? Your body goes up different, you show up different, you're in a different space mentally, emotionally, physically, every time we go. You know, one of the biggest, I think, connections for me was like, okay, well, this is uncomfortable, this position that I'm being called or invited in to be in physically, and I want to escape from it. Like, I want to get out of this pose, I don't like it, my thighs are yelling at me or whatever the case may be. And then you're being uh prompted to breathe and maintain a vision, right? On something in the room that's unmoving or a thought, right? Yeah, and then I would see that discomfort kind of I could be with it, and then it, you know, we'd flow and move through another pose, you know. And then that started kind of happening in daily life too.

SPEAKER_01 27:17

So and that's what they say.

SPEAKER_03 27:20

And you know, I think until we you can experience something like that in whatever fashion, even if it's going for a walk or whatever the case may be, it it might be a little bit really, does that really happen? But yeah, yeah, there's a mind-body connection.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

Oh my gosh, so much. Well, and so much of yeah, the emotion is carried in our bodies, like the physical sensations that we feel, both with joy and distress, right? That it's a part of what we're feeling inside. And I think that through movement like yoga or whatever movement you choose, whatever you know, practices you choose, like it helps you recognize, oh, there's the physical feeling that goes with that emotion, or I oh, now I'm noticing for me. Like when I was anxious, my chest would get tightened, my throat would close up, you know, I would be like that, and you know, shoulders up and tension up the back of my neck. And yeah, like sort of a panicked feeling versus like, oh, this is what it feels like to be at rest. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:29

You know, I didn't realize I wasn't breathing throughout my day.

SPEAKER_00 28:34

Oh my gosh. Yeah, yeah. Not breathing, clenching, whatever it might be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:41

I do want to say something that I think is important though. Like I know we kind of you might have other things you want to kind of lean into, but for those who are listening, and you know, I I want to be also validating in the sense of like sometimes engaging in physical practices like yoga or exercise can also be very overwhelming or even dysregulating, right? Because maybe you're used to not connecting, right? And when you do connect, there's a flooding of feelings and emotions and sensations that come up. So that is a very real reality too. And sometimes it's good to consider maybe you bring a friend with you, right? Maybe you go to something that is supportive, like where you have somebody there with you, like a guide or teacher or something. Although it's gonna look different for everybody, what that support looks like. But ultimately it's about meeting yourself where you're at rather than forcing or judging, you know. Yeah. And that those are all practices that are learned too. So it's meeting yourself where what you what where you are and what you need.

SPEAKER_00 29:49

Yeah, yeah. No, I appre really appreciate your your highlighting that because it's not yeah, body movement can be triggering too, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, absolutely. I can remember. I used to live in Annapolis, Maryland, and I was a part of uh what was called authentic movement group. And I remember it's basically you are moving with others with your eyes closed and being witnessed by the practic, you know, the leader of the woman who is the movement therapist. And initially it being the one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever done in my life. Like, what? I have to trust that my body knows where it wants to move. Like, there's no music, there's no nothing. I just have to trust that I can move my body in a way that feels okay. And I I'm feeling it right now. I'm like, oh, that was so horrible. But I came to love it. I came that to it became a part of my life that changed a lot internally for me. Um, and I miss it because I am not, no, I'm no longer living in the same state uh where that was taking place. But it was really hard at first and it brought up a lot, and it was also beautiful and that it required me to learn how to tolerate those feelings, but also recognize like, oh yeah, I can feel that and it's there, but I can also still be present.

SPEAKER_03 31:19

Right. And and you know, here's the other side of it because sometimes maybe you've heard clients say this too. And I can I'm guilty of it as well, is like I remember being like 20 and saying, like, how is crying about this gonna help?

SPEAKER_00 31:34

Yes. Oh, yes. Yes, sure lived it, right?

SPEAKER_03 31:38

Like I remember that.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 31:40

But here's the thing what's great about it is that when you start to feel more comfortable with whatever experience you're having, right? So say it is sadness that we're trying to kind of tolerate, or even build more of an understanding of why we're feeling that way, what's contributing to it. The thing is, this is that it begins to open the door more deeply to joy.

SPEAKER_00 32:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 32:11

And so if we're numbing one emotion or suppressing one emotion or bearing down or whatever reaction we're having to one emotion, it starts to affect all the other ones. Yeah. Sadness can turn into anger and irritability, lack of patience, and things like that. But in the same way of like if we don't know the difference between hot and cold, well, I mean, things are gonna feel really chaotic, right? So we can't truly know joy unless we allow ourselves to know sadness.

SPEAKER_00 32:41

Yeah. Yeah. Well, and as you said, like you if you're shutting off feeling, you're not just saying, oh, I'm just not gonna feel sad. You're not gonna feel any of the feelings, right? I mean, you don't get to pick and choose, well, I'm only gonna feel joy today. I mean, it's unrealistic, right? I mean, we're if we're numbing to our feelings, we're numbing them all.

SPEAKER_03 33:07

Right, right, right. And obviously, I mean, there's all nuances here, right? Because then there's you could get into like, well, even with wellness, right? There's a lot, oh, positive thinking. Yes. And yeah, and and we don't want to minimize, you know, our experience either, right? Your anger is valid. It stands for some injustice or unfairness or unkindness that you experience. Like that is valid because that's the thing that's gonna say, no, this is not right. Yeah. Sadness stands for some sort of loss. And it hurts because, or it's so painful because that loss signified something that was so meaningful, even if it was just a hope, a wish, or a dream, or a vision or a person, you know, and that loss or what what you were hoping for or held on to or experienced that you lost really was so significant to you. It deserves space, right? To be acknowledged. So every emotion that we feel, it doesn't need to be fixed, right? With positive thinking. Maybe you start with like, okay, yeah, okay, this is valid for whatever reason, even if I don't understand it yet. And you give yourself some time and then sure, maybe then shift into some positive thinking or some wellness stuff.

SPEAKER_00 34:27

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I I I appreciate that too. Because I mean, affirmations are great, but if you're not believing those positive affirmations, everything is fine. My world is great. Well, if you don't feel that in your core, it's not really gonna shift a lot, right? I mean, fake it till you make it, yeah, but maybe not so much, right? If we're just telling ourselves I need to be happy or feel better or not feel these things, it's not really gonna shift until we've truly know or can feel the shift, right?

SPEAKER_03 35:03

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:06

And some things take longer, right?

SPEAKER_00 35:08

And so, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:10

I think if I had to kind of boil it down, it goes back to like meeting yourself where you are, releasing an expectation or pressure of okay, this should have passed by now, right? Especially if it's related to grief or something like trauma or yeah, right, right, or why am I still upset about this? Or, you know, this really isn't that big of a deal. But no, for you, it may be. And for you, there may be more, and that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 35:36

Yeah, yeah. Well, that feels like a perfect place to wind up the conversation. But if you were to, if there was something you felt important for the listeners to hear, especially if they're highly sensitive around feeling and feelings and wellness, what might that be?

SPEAKER_03 35:57

This is my favorite little like tool or way of thinking about emotions. So emotions are really just tools, they're signals. So, in the same way, and and we work really hard to like separate emotion from body, right? But they don't work that differently from the physical body. Your body will cue you when you're hungry. If you're noticing, right, if you're connected and noticing and paying attention, right? It'll your stomach will grow. Your body will cue you when you're cold. You get goosebumps, right? Even when you're scared, like we're a lot eat, it's a lot easier to identify when we're scared from our body because it's such a profound physical response, right? But yeah, all emotions work that way too. They're not that different. Anger stands for an injustice. So it's letting you know that maybe I need some kindness, right? Maybe I need a sense of someone or myself sticking up for myself.

unknown 36:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

Or some validation.

SPEAKER_03 36:58

Yeah. Yeah.

unknown 36:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:00

So when you're feeling an emotion of any kind, right, if you're a listener listening in, and you're feeling an emotion of any kind, including happiness, right? What is this emotion telling me about what I need? And if it's something that's painful or uncomfortable, maybe I'm not getting that. And how can I give it to myself?

unknown 37:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:20

If it's joy, if it's happiness, if it's feeling loved, okay, well, that's good data too, because that works for me. And I can keep looking for that where I can find it, right? Or cultivate it somehow.

SPEAKER_00 37:32

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's lovely. I love that. That's it. It brings a very sort of normalized temperature to it all, right?

SPEAKER_04 37:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:45

Yeah. Our feelings are just there to teach us about what we need. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just gotta listen. All right. Well, Alyssa, thank you so much for being on the podcast today. I really, really appreciate it. It was a very lovely, deeply feeling conversation for me.

SPEAKER_03 38:07

Thank you so much for having me. I love talking about this stuff so any chance I can. It's what it's what motivates me to do it.

SPEAKER_00 38:14

So there you go. There you go. Well, thanks again.

SPEAKER_03 38:17

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 38:26

Well, that was really a wonderful conversation. And Alyssa was a very grounded, sensitive soul. And I so appreciate all the highly sensitive women who are willing to come on the podcast, tell their stories, share their insights, and their work with highly sensitive women. And I am such an advocate of honoring your feelings, of meeting yourself with compassion and kindness, regardless of what you're feeling. That all our feelings are valid and worthy of our acknowledgement, validation, and understanding. And it sounds like through her work, she is doing a lot of the same guidance and partnering with her clients as well. So I also want to just note we talked a lot about movement, yoga, walking, exercise. I'm pretty sure there might be some of you out there that movement and exercise might be more of a challenge, whether it's because of physical pain or a disability. Any, I just want to acknowledge that any kind of movement, even if you're in a chair, moving your arms, I know there is chair yoga as well, but I just any sort of movement for your body is healing. It doesn't have to be strenuous physical exercise. It doesn't have to be yoga that you're in positions where you're in pain or struggling, or it doesn't have to be about pushing. It's about allowing your body to express itself. So dancing, shaking your butt in your chair, giving yourself a hug, any kind of movement can be beneficial to our mental well-being and our physical well-being. So that's my little, my little sales pitch there. Once again, if you're interested in being a part of the membership for highly sensitive women, I would love to hear from you. You can go to my website at elisabethcush.com and find out all about the membership. You can also reach out to me if you would like to join. There is a link there right on the webpage that has you fill out a registration form. If you've been a part of the circles, if you've attended at least one and you want to join right up for the membership, for the monthly membership, just reach out to me and I will send you the link and get you enrolled. Well, I hope that you have a beautiful feeling full week ahead. And I hope you take care of yourself, your body, your mind, your soul, your spirit. I look forward to connecting with you here next time on the podcast. Thanks for listening to the Awaken Your Wise Woman podcast. The information in this podcast is not a substitute for seeking help from a licensed mental health professional. Music by Andy Cush, sound editing by Laura Distler, and show notes by Kathy Cush. If you'd like more information about me, Biz Cush, and the resources shared today, go to awakenyourwisewoman.com.