Midlife Transitions for Highly Sensitive Women

If the way you’ve been doing things isn’t quite as aligned as it needs to be, listen to this episode of the Awaken Your Wise Woman podcast as host Elizabeth Cush talks about what to expect as your system begins to evolve. 

“What once helped you survive may not support who you are becoming.” — Biz Cush  

Have you outgrown the way you’ve been doing life? Have the things that used to work stopped working? Do you feel like something doesn’t quite fit right? You’ve done the work, adapted, developed a set of tools, but you’re drawn to deeper change. If so, don’t be discouraged. In this episode of the Awaken Your Wise Woman podcast, host Biz Cush, LCPC, a licensed professional therapist, founder of Progression Counseling in Maryland and Delaware, and soul support for highly sensitive women, talks about the complicated feelings that can arise as your relationship with your sensitivity evolves and you transition to a life that is more closely aligned to your needs. 

You can find the full show notes and resources here.

Transcript

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Is to acknowledge and validate we can feel two almost opposing emotions about a situation and both can be real. So there might be relief and sadness. There might be a sense of expansion and fearfulness. And there might be a vision of clarity along with a lot of uncertainty. And that is totally, totally normal and just who we are as humans. And especially as highly sensitive women, whatever those opposing emotions are, we feel them deeply. So please remember, as a highly sensitive person, you don't just think about change. You feel it in your heart, in your soul, in your body, in your being. Welcome to the Awaken Your Wise Woman podcast, where we hold your sensitive nature front and center. Because your sensitivity is a gift that needs polishing up every day. In our world of high stimulation, there's rarely a chance to sit back, listen, and go deep. Join me as I hang out with highly sensitive women and the healers who support them, as we dive deep into all things sensitive. Healing from childhood wounds, cool alternative methods for growth, and all the ways your sensitivities make you a powerful force to be reckoned with. So let's take a drive or a walk or let's get comfy on the couch with a soft blanket and beverage. You're in for some whole-hearted, soulful conversations with truly amazing women like you. Let's grow a strong community of awakened, sensitive women together. Hi, and welcome back to the Awaken Your Wise Woman podcast. I'm your host, Biz Cush. And I appreciate you being here. I know that as far as I'm concerned, this season six has been a really, really wonderful one. The guests have been amazing. The feedback from listeners has been awesome. And I have had so many people tell me that they've shared it with friends or family. And I appreciate that too. So if that resonates with you, if there are people in your life that you feel would benefit from listening to the podcast, I would love for you to share it. I also welcome you to join the circle of sacred sensitivity. We meet monthly for conversation, for support, for laughs, for community. And we also join each other offline. I mean, not yeah, well, it's online, but not in the the live circles within our uh membership community where there are resources and meditations and all kinds of chat rooms to get involved and stay in touch. So if you're interested in joining me there in the circle of sacred sensitivity, just head to my website, elisabethcush.com. You'll see right at the top, Circle of Sacred Sensitivity. Click there, and you can follow the links to fill out a registration form. As we wind down season six, I just wanted to share a little bit about when your system begins to evolve and recognize that maybe the way you've been doing things isn't quite as aligned as it needs to be. Nothing is necessarily wrong, but your body feels tired, you're drained, and you need something to change. You've done the work, you've coped, you've adapted, you have the tools, but something deeper is asking for change. This is something I often see with the highly sensitive women that I work with. That there comes a moment when their nervous system, your nervous system, says, I can't keep doing it this way. This isn't failure. It's not regression, this is evolution. Some of the subtle signs that you have outgrown the way you're living your life. Here are some clues that maybe a change is in is needed in how you're doing life. So some of your physical or nervous system cues, you're tired, fatigued all the time, maybe a low grade burnout. Or you're feeling overstimulated by the things that you used to be able to handle. The go, go, go was so easy before, and maybe it's not quite so easy today. And maybe there's a sense of dread before certain interactions or tasks or relationships. Some of the emotional cues for you might be that you're more irritable. Maybe you're holding unexpected resentment for people in your life. Or maybe you feel disconnected, numb, or flat. And you're often less tolerant for surface level conversations. Some of the inner dialogue shifts that might be happening for you are I'm tired of overgiving to everyone else. Or maybe this just doesn't feel aligned anymore. And there has to be another way. And some of the relational signals that may be appearing for you, maybe showing up, are that the roles that you once that once felt meaningful to you now feel really heavy. You've always been the strong one, the helper, the go-to person, but now it feels draining. And you're craving depth and warmth, authenticity and spaciousness. These aren't signs that something is wrong with you. They're signs that you are ready to change. This is highlighting that your sensitivity, your relationship with your sensitivity is evolving. That it's not just something to manage, and maybe it's something to embrace. This is a beautiful place to expand your identity. You've matured, and in the past you needed to adapt. Now you know it's time to feel more aligned with your sensitive nature. And I know that realization happened for me about maybe about five years ago, where I was recognizing that the way I was doing life just didn't feel aligned anymore. And that many of the relationships that I thought I valued, that I thought valued me, no longer seemed to fit. And I knew that it was time for change, but I wasn't really quite sure how to move forward. And what helped me was really learning to listen to me, listen to my intuition, listen to my needs, to start to tune in in small ways for taking care of myself in work, in relationships, at home, and physically. Often in our early stages when we're really trying to cope, because we are highly sensitive and we live in an insensitive world, and often in dynamics where maybe our sensitivity isn't valued or understood. And so often in the early stage, we cope, right? We start to people please, we overfunction, we manage the overwhelm by pushing through it versus attending to it. And we keep trying to fit into environments that aren't supportive of our highly sensitive systems. And as we're evolving, we we begin to notice a greater awareness for this misalignment where things no longer fit. That's where I was five years ago, where suddenly it was like this just isn't working anymore. We become aware of the stronger internal signals that are much harder to ignore. Whether it's we're carrying more stress, more resentment, more irritability, more exhaustion, those internal signals where our body is telling us this just doesn't work anymore. It's time to start turning inward to listen. And there is a stronger desire for congruence and truth and meaning and connection. What once helped us survive, what once helped you survive, may not support who you are becoming. And what's happening is your system is becoming more attuned, not more fragile. You're becoming more aware of what you need in order to support your sensitive system. Your body, your soul is asking for safety through alignment, not just endurance. And that growth isn't always easy. Because even when the change is right, it can still feel like loss. We can still grieve the things we're needing to change or leave behind. I can remember the realization that some of the relationships that I had held near and dear to my heart, some of the people in my life that I had known for over 20 years were no longer aligned. And that was a very difficult process for me to move towards the letting go. And it wasn't about being angry or shutting a person out of my life, but it was a recognition that I was no longer willing to put in the effort to maintain a friendship that wasn't what I needed anymore. So you can be grieving the loss of past versions of relationships or of you when you were trying to make it work. You might be grieving the loss of the relationships that don't feel reciprocal anymore. Or even grieving parts of you that helped you cope, the helper, the people pleaser, the achiever, the one that was always easy to get along with. And that is totally, totally normal and just who we are as humans, and especially as highly sensitive women, whatever those opposing emotions are, we feel them deeply. So please remember, as a highly sensitive person, you don't just think about change, you feel it in your heart, in your soul, in your body, in your being. And transitions, no matter what they are, are harder for highly sensitive women than the average woman. And the letting go and making change can feel like a full body experience for us. So the grief that you might be feeling, the loss that you might be feeling isn't a sign that you're going backwards. It's a sign that you're honoring what matters to you. And a gentle reminder here for highly sensitive women that expansion to the other side doesn't have to be a push. It doesn't have to be a rushing into, it can be a gentle unfolding, a gentle understanding of what needs to shift and change. And as you lean into the idea and the need for change, what begins to emerge is a desire for more spacious, reciprocal relationships. Relationships that honor you for who you are, versus taking advantage of you as a highly sensitive person who gives and people please and overextends at times when they don't need to. And you'll find that work or life feels more aligned, meaningful, and most importantly, sustainable. And you may find that the slower rhythms and deeper connection and more authenticity are the things that truly fill your cup. Absolutely. There was some sorrow for things that were going to be left behind. And there was a blossoming and an awareness of the amount of energy I had available to put into things that really mattered to me. And that I was able to honor when I needed stillness, quiet time, alone, alone time. And that felt good. And I'm not saying that happened overnight. It took time, it took practice. But as I really began to feel into how my life could better support me, how I could better support me, it all began to just feel that much easier. Because you're learning to trust your needs instead of overriding them. And you're learning to let your sensitivity guide your decisions and move from what's expected to what feels true to me. Your sensitivity isn't asking you to shrink your life, it's asking you to reshape it in a way that fully supports and aligns with you and who you are. As you're moving forward, some things to consider. Where in your life does something feel just a little too tight or constricting? Maybe you carry around a tightness in your chest when you're feeling overwhelmed. Maybe you're just getting overwhelmed way more easily or more often. Maybe you've noticed that you're feeling anxious too much of the time or irritated by the people in your life. Just take notice of that. Take notice of those relationships, situations, places. And what are you tolerating that your body is quietly resisting? Are you carrying pain in your neck, your back, your head, all over? Notice that. And I wonder what would it feel like to have one degree more of internal support or spaciousness in your life? Bring some curiosity to these suggestions and curiosity to this experience. Because when we listen, instead of just trying to fix, often there are amazing revelations, understandings, and opportunities to build in more alignment in your life. As this process is unfolding for you, begin to listen to what your inner world and physical being is telling you. Your body and your intuition carry so much wisdom. But we get so caught up in day-to-day living, of busyness, of taking care of others that we lose track or stop paying attention to what our body and our intuition is telling us. And you don't have to figure it out all at once. This is going to be a process. It's going to be a transition. And it is a transition and not a crisis. And the fact that if something in your life doesn't fit anymore, that doesn't mean you've failed. I think it just means you've grown. So take a moment and remember and honor. And maybe even use this as a mantra or an affirmation for yourself. I'm allowed to change at my own pace. And I like to put my hands on my heart whenever I am sharing an affirmation with myself or saying out loud something I really want to honor for me and my body. So try that. Hand on your heart. Deep breath. I'm allowed to change at my own pace. Making change, moving through transitions, means I'm evolving and growing. And that's a beautiful thing. And just like a snake sheds the skin that no longer fits its body. You're learning to shed the ways of being that no longer serve you today. And again, that doesn't mean that the way you have done it up to now is a mistake or a failure or a problem. It just means you're recognizing that those old ways don't fit anymore. And it's time to grow into what does there comes a moment when the life you built to cope doesn't support who you've become. If this is where you are, feeling that quiet pull towards something different, you don't have to navigate it alone. Being in spaces with other sensitive women who support you and understand you can help make this transition feel so much more supported. So if you are in a place where you would love the understanding and compassion and kindness that highly sensitive women value and hold true, the circle of sacred sensitivity might be a space for you. You can find out more on my website at elisabethcush.com. Click on the tab for the circle of sacred sensitivity, and it shares a little bit about the group. But if you had more questions, more inquiry, curiosity, reach out, send me an email. I'm happy to answer any questions you might have. And this evolution, transition, growth is a lovely thing. And if we can bring the curiosity and kindness and compassion to the process, it makes it that much easier. Well, I hope that you will take care of yourself over the coming couple of weeks before I'm back here on the podcast again. Take care of yourself, take care of those around you as needed, but listen to what you need to. I look forward to connecting with you here on the podcast next time. Thanks for listening to the Awaken Your Wise Woman podcast. The information in this podcast is not a substitute for seeking help from a licensed mental health professional. Music by Andy Cush, sound editing by Laura Distler, and show notes by Kathy Cush. If you'd like more information about me, Ms. Cush, and the resources shared today, go to awakenyourwisewoman.com.